Panic Attacks

I had my first panic attack, aged 21, in a Parisian cinema while watching Little Voice. 

Mark Herman’s film about the perils of youthful success wasn’t a good choice for someone in my state of mind. When the credits began to roll, I found I couldn’t move.  I couldn’t move when the lights went up, or when the theatre cleared, or when the ushers came in to sweep up the popcorn. Told coldly that I could remain only if I bought a new ticket, I eventually managed to stand – but it took me four hours to get home, and I didn’t leave my apartment for six weeks.

I know now that what happens in a panic attack is that the body overdoses on adrenaline: the ‘fight or flight’ hormone designed to get us out of tight spots. In small doses, it makes us fearless, impervious to pain, capable of lightning decision-making. But too much causes paralysis – of body and spirit.

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